Confidence // 3/24/2020

This one is about what true confidence is. My own personal philosophy regarding what, “true confidence” is in a man as well as my journey to trying to achieve this.

I’m leaving the original date I started this post. I wrote a couple paragraphs but felt that at the time I started writing it I wasn’t quite ready to.

So I just applied to a video editing job. Video editing is something I’m very passionate about and spend significant amounts of my time on.

In the past, I

Starting here it’s 6-13-2021.

I tried to write this post a few different times and my aim was always to give the reader a sort of formula to follow to develop true confidence but the reality is, I’m not there yet so I don’t know what advice I can really give to somebody.

I just posted, “The Main problems facing modern men” and part of it was talking about a type of man that I have respect for & I guess that’s what I view true confidence as.

A grown guy that has a grounding presence, someone that makes you feel at ease when you’re around them just because they seem like they either know what they’re doing, or know that they can handle an unexpected situation.

People have told me I play it off well, but at least to me, I feel I’m a fairly anxious person & often I can get caught up mentally spiraling in my head.

I turn 24 in a week and it’s most definitely gotten better with age but I know that I’m not where I need to be yet.

One thing I’ll mention is that going out of my way to do things that make me nervous and steering into the anxiety has helped immensely.

A quick example of that is trying to make myself dance whenever there’s an opportunity to do so.

I was at a bar with my mom & sister and people there were dancing. I was dancing and not caring what other people that were there thought about me. However, at one point the dancing morphed into everyone at the bar forming a circle and people taking turns hopping into the center.

Unfortunately, I b***hed out on actually jumping into the center of the circle when the opportunity was there and doing some awkward dance moves. Those are the kind of moments that’ll stick with me for days, weeks, months, even years later and make me mad at myself for not being more, “confident” and just going for it.

More often than not I’ll push through the anxiety and try to make myself do things anyways but sometimes I just freeze up and regret it.

I think smoking weed definitely makes it extremely difficult to push yourself outside of your comfort zone and would recommend to anyone that can relate to the stuff I’ve typed out here to cut back or completely stop if you have a weed habit. You may not realize how much its effecting you’re growth as a person.

One pattern I’ve definitely noticed is that thinking doesn’t gain you anything. I always do the best when I just sort of zone out in a calm way and go for whatever I want to do.

When I’m able to do that, I feel I function at a higher capacity than I ever could’ve if I’d tried to plan out every little thing in my head.

Obviously that’s easier said than done though.

For myself, the biggest challenge I have on the agenda in the near future is to perform my own music in front of people live.

I’ve done karaoke a handful of times & was extremely nervous the first few times. Doing karaoke again would be nerve racking but it wouldn’t be the hardest thing ever. However, performing multiple of my own songs back to back sounds terrifying to me.

It’s a combination of feeling weird about making original music in general as well as the fact that when you’re performing your own songs it’s a personal thing because, (unlike karaoke) you’re vocalizing thoughts & feelings you would normally keep inside your own head.

Maybe in the future, after continuing to try things that make me nervous and living more life, I’ll come back on this site and give you a more exact and mathematical type formula to achieve true confidence.

For me though, currently, I’ve been in a sort of limbo stage trying to be able to consistently feel that type of true confidence, sometimes feeling like I have it figured out, then hitting different roadblocks than before.

Just keep getting out of bed everyday, going outside of your house, and doing something, literally anything. If you do that it’ll all probably work out in the end.

Done rambling,



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